I have a confession. I didn’t know my eight year old was learning multiplication. Last weekend, my husband was using some real-life example to explain multiplication, and Big Boy said, “yeah! That’s what I’m learning in math!” I tried to play it off like I knew what he was talking about, but I totally didn’t. And yeah, I’m his main teacher.

Here’s what happened: Big Boy and I struggled with math. A LOT. Since he was like five. Apparently, we do not speak the same math language. So this year I handed him a textbook and said, “here, let me know if you need any help,” and every day he pulls the book out of his desk and does a lesson in it, and he never asks for help. Sure, I go back and check on him every once in a while. I try to check every few days. But sometimes every few days turn into once a week. And apparently once a week turned into a couple of weeks, because Dude is up to fours in multiplication and I totally missed it.

I checked today, and he’s doing great. Understands it, answers things correctly, can explain his answers, the whole shebang. (Let’s be honest, I probably wouldn’t have shared this anecdote with you if it turned out he was completely screwing it up and hadn’t learned a single thing in the last six months of teaching himself math.)

I’m not sure if you can even imagine what a HORRIBLE parent I felt like, what a horrible teacher I felt like! How could I miss something as big as multiplication? When he’s learning it in my own house?!

But here’s something I’m learning. And granted, my oldest kid is eight so it’s not like I have all the experience in the world, but I’m getting there. What I’m learning is this: there is absolutely no “right” way to do this whole parenting/ teaching thing. Even though we homeschoolers pride ourselves in going against the grain, sometimes I think a lot of us still get nervous when we’re not doing things the way our friends are. I have some friends who are organizational gurus. They’ve got folders, binders, printouts, schedules… and their kids actually stick to them! I look at them and think, “oh crap, I must be really messing my kids up!” I have friends who are amazingly artistic. They teach their kids with these great hands-on lessons and can incorporate all the subjects into one overarching art project. It’s amazing and beautiful. I look at them and think, “man, are my kids missing out!” And then there’s me and my poor kids with their workbooks and multiplication.

But it’s OK. They’re OK. My relationship with my Big Boy, and his relationship with math, is WAY better than it has ever been before. I think it takes us a long time to figure out who we are, who are kids are, and what works best for all of us. If we spend all of our time comparing ourselves to others or being envious of their good qualities, we’re going to miss the good qualities in ourselves. I suck at teaching my kid math. I cannot consistently produce super fun unit studies. But, I go out of my way to broaden their horizons with cultural outings, documentaries on issues that affect the world, and sharing my love of reading and books with them. And that’s what makes me great. And you are great too. You don’t have to be like me or the artist or the organizational guru. You are perfect just the way you are. And you are a GREAT mom.